I am running full speed in Vinny’s direction. John Tiger turns to see me closing in on them. Much like a football player guarding his QB (Vinny), he puts his arms out and steps side to side, anticipating which direction I am going in for the sack. I bolt to his right, but he grabs me before I can make contact with Vinny’s face.
“Liz! Stop!” John Tiger exclaims.
“Fuck you mother fucker! You’re lucky Tiger is holding me back you fucking little bitch boy,” I scream.
I swing my arms around Tiger, in an attempt to get to Vinny. Vinny still has his arms crossed and is wearing his smug smirk. He leans back on the chain-link fence around the track.
“Come at me,” he taunts.
“You mother fucker!” I scream, still fighting to get passed Tiger.
I can feel my weight moving John Tiger. His feet’s movement on the gravel, alerts my ears to the fact that I can push through him.
“Liz! Stop! Please Liz. Don’t do this,” Tiger pleads.
“Yo! What the fuck?” Brian calls out.
I turn to see Brian and Bolts running out of the kitchen’s back door to assist me. Curtis Maxwell and Aiden (ethics), race over to them and force them back into the lodge. Several students have their faces plastered to the large windows in the dining area. We have an audience. When I become overwhelmed, I cry. I bury my face into John Tiger’s white sweatshirt and begin to sob, smearing my makeup all over it.
“That’s right. Cry it out, baby,” Vinny taunts,
“You mother fucker. I am going to knock your block off!” I scream.
Vinny motions with both hands for me to come his way. I punch Tiger in his chest, knocking the wind out of him and attempt to push passed him again. Suddenly, another set of arms is around me to help restrain me. It is Brooklyn.
“Come on girl. It’s okay. Calm down. I know. I know,” she assures me.
“Hit me bitch. I will file assault charges and your ass will be off this mountain so fast,” Vinny threatens.
“Hit me bitch! So I can rip your head off and shit down your throat, you pansy ass mamma’s boy mother fucker! I’m going to pinch your head off and tell God you died!” I scream.
“Go to the lodge right now,” John Tiger screams at Vinny.
The entire Narconon office staff has ventured out of their offices and is watching this scene develop a few feet from them. Tiger walks over to Brad, the head ethics guy. Brooklyn continues to hold me. My makeup has smeared all over my face and I rub at my tear soaked eyes.
“Yo. Did he fucking hit her?” Brian’s voice calls out.
“Brian get back to the lodge,” Brad instructs. “Everyone stay out of this area.”
“Are you okay Liz?” Brooklyn asks.
“Yes. I am fine now. I just want to listen to my music and wash my face,” I respond.
“Okay,” she acknowledges. She let’s go of me.
The staff is talking among themselves and I begin to tiptoe away from Brooklyn. When I feel I have distanced myself far enough, I book it (run) towards the kitchen door after Vinny. I race through the kitchen and into the dining area.
“There she goes! Go after her!” Tiger exclaims.
“Shit. Liz! Come back here,” Brooklyn calls after me, but I’ve left her in my dust.
Vinny is sitting there smugly. I clench my fist and pull my arm back, only to have it restrained by Brooklyn from behind. She traps me in a bear hug. Tiger is right behind her and escorts Vinny down to the office. Brooklyn walks me to my room.
“Wash your face and collect yourself. I want you to sit on your bed until Tess Moff comes down to talk to you,” she instructs.
“I’m so sorry Liz. You have every right to be upset. I saw what he was doing and how he was egging you on. You need to control yourself though. If you hit him, we have to call the police,” Brooklyn informs me. “It’s an assault charge.”
The pictures of my daughter on the wall are staring back at me. It would be foolish of me to piss away my opportunity here. I can’t risk being arrested for assault. I’ve never been to jail before. The closest thing to jail I have experienced would be the 30 day state rehab I was in. Well, maybe the 24 hour withdrawal ranch too. That place was worse than jail.
The slider door opens and Tess Moff stands in the doorway. She is holding her vapor and even takes a pull off of it. Her eyes are dead set on mine. It’s almost as though we are engaged in a TR.
“Liz Brown,” she says in a tone suggesting, “What am I going to do with you girl?”
“What?” I respond.
“What are you doing?” She asks, while making her way over to sit by me on my bed.
“He is such an ass and I want to hit him,” I answer.
“You can’t Liz and you know that. Is he an ass? Yes. We all know that. He’s an antisocial prick who is just looking to get a rouse out of you and guess what? He’s succeeding. He is your ultimate button for bullbait. Cause that’s all he is doing Liz. He is bullbaiting you,” she says.
“I know but,” I begin to say.
“But nothing Liz. Look at those pictures of your daughter on the wall. You have someone depending on you. You are better than this. You are better than him,” she assures me.
My heart begins to slow its race. My eyes observe my daughter’s pictures and I realize that I need to maintain control not only for myself, but for her.
“We are going to move you over to the Ginger House. I think it will be better. You are out of sauna now and Keisha’s roommate is moving to the Top House,” she informs me.
“Okay. I am ready to move,” I agree.
“We will move you over tomorrow. So go ahead and pack tonight or on break tomorrow and have your things ready,” she instructs. “Are we good? No more flying off the deep end? Do we have to keep Vinny locked away, or can you refrain from attacking him?” She asks sarcastically.
“Yes Tess Moff,” I reply.
“It’s time for roll call and then class. I will check on you tomorrow,” she assures me before we head out of my room together.
The final session, Richard and I drill and test out of TR6-TR9. Brooklyn makes sure that I am alright. Because we are done early and cannot start objectives due to there not being enough time, Richard and I are allowed to go back to the center an hour earlier than class getting out.
Immediately, I go to my room. I begin carefully taking my daughter’s pictures off of the wall. I grab my suitcases out of the closet and pack away all of my size zero clothing that doesn’t fit anymore. There are a few size two items that I am sure someone will be able to wear, so I leave them out to pass onto someone else.
With the exception of the clothes I am wearing tomorrow and the toiletries I need, I manage to pack up most of my belongings.
“Hey girl hey,” Hayden calls out, as she walks through the door. “NO! They are moving you?”
“Yeah. I am moving to the ginger house tomorrow,” I reply. “I am surprised they didn’t move me sooner. After today, I am surprised they don’t force me to move tonight.”
“I know. Are you okay? What exactly happened?” She asks.
Hayden and Keisha had gone outside for a smoke and missed the scene. However, both of them heard me screaming and watched what happened on the track. I tell Hayden the story.
“Wow. What a class A douche bag,” she says. “I am so sad that you are moving. I can’t wait to get out of sauna and move over to the house with you.”
“Hey girl hey,” Keisha interrupts. “No way! Are you moving to the house?”
“Yup. I am your new roommate. Well, I guess technically I am your old roommate, but I am moving to the house tomorrow,” I respond.
Keisha and I are excited, but Hayden isn’t overly thrilled. Keisha can’t stay long because the van is dropping students off at the houses. Since it is our last night together, Hayden and I spend it hanging out together in our room one last time before lights out. I am so excited to be moving into the house tomorrow, but I try not to seem too eager because I know Hayden is upset. I will miss being her roomie, but I have really missed Keisha too. Hayden falls asleep before I can. My mind is active and I try to calm it down. I replay the events of today over again and imagine saying all of the things I wish I would have said. Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day and Richard and I will be starting Objectives, or so I had thought….
Today’s Theme Song- Hate Me- Blue October
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**DISCLAIMER: This is my personal experience at a Narconon Rehabilitation Center. This is not an expose or journalistic documentation. It is not meant to bash the program in any way, or suggest that it is the only rehab facility that works for recovery. I have been clean and sober since 09-27-13 and attribute much of that success to this program. All of the names in this series have been changed to protect the identity of my friends and sober family’s privacy! Thank you for reading!**