I am running faster than I have ever run before. I hop three fences and slide on the wet grass beneath me. I want to look back but I am terrified to slow down. I heard Chelsea say she saw me running. Is she behind me? I begin pounding on the slider door of a stranger’s back door. I scream for someone to please help me and let me in, elaborating that they are after me! I am not thinking clearly. Dawn is breaking and a lighter grayness shadows my surroundings. Despite daylight’s rising, I can hardly see three feet in front of me. My heart is about to pop out of my chest cavity and I can’t catch my breath long enough to speak.

A male voice from behind the door questions why I am pounding and I scream that I am running from people attempting to rob my house. The man and his wife open the slider and I immediately close the blinds behind me and duck down behind their kitchen island. The women’s face is filled with panic and the man walks out of the kitchen. My eyes are bugging out of my head. My mind is a whirlwind of questions, speculations and pure confusion. What am I doing here? Who are these people? Why did I eat that crystal when I was already tweaking balls? Oh God, the man is on the phone! I was in such a panic to get away that I didn’t factor in, that these strangers were likely going to call the police.

The police show up rather quickly to my surprise. I know I have to look high as fuck to the trained eye but I also know by avoiding eye contact I look suspicious. The words are spewing forth at mock speed and I stare down the officer receiving my concerns. I refuse to name any names and lie to the officer, claiming I have no idea who these people were. The last thing I want to do is have papers on me snitching. Especially, now that I know how dangerous these people really are. The officer, adamantly insists I ride with him back to my house. I ask him to cuff me in case these people are watching. He refuses and insists that there is no one watching. He takes me back to the house and tells me that he had an officer on this road moments ago and there was no suspicious activity.

Was this all in my head? Am I experiencing meth psychosis? All the time I spent in the shadows tonight, the elaborate details, the people, the face paint, the moving van, Chelsea. Did I hallucinate this entire experience?
NO! No fucking way! I know what I saw! I am soaking wet. It is nearing 6:00 am, I wouldn’t have spent an entire night in the rain hiding from ghosts? Worse, figments of my imagination in my tweaker psyche? It was real. It was real! The officer leaves and warns me not to waste their time again. I run to the back door of the house. I don’t know what to do. I decide to change out of my soaking wet clothing and grab my WSU winter coat. It is summertime and hasn’t been too terribly cold but I am freezing now. I rummage through my nightstand searching for tooters from when I was still living in the house and smoking H. Tooters are straws or hollowed out pens that you use to inhale the heroin smoke from the foil.

I find a couple old foils and desperately attempt to catch some smoke by chasing the dragon that left the tracks. Chasing the dragon is a term used for following the tar as it leaves tracks on the foil when you smoke it. I pinch at a few raised crusty remnants but there is nothing. I find three tooters and scour them for resin.
I don’t have my junkie kit. It is locked in my glove box. I have heard that unless the police have a warrant they can’t force you to unlock and open it so that is where I store it. I can’t access what little resin there is, so I opt to snort it. I take a small amount of water and place my fingertips on each end of the tooter. I shake it vigorously, put one end to my nostril, lean my head back and snort the resin water. One tooter after the other. There is nothing nastier than having this mix immediately hit my throat but I am desperate and need an opiate fix. I have been pacing frantically back and forth between my bed and the blinds. I check every 10 seconds and keep my ears alert, listening for the Honda’s exhaust. It is quiet and I make my way back to my car.

I am so thirsty. I stop at the 7-11 right by the freeway and run inside to get a can of coke. As I approach my vehicle, my heart begins to speed up its pace. The Toyota and both Honda’s are parked at the Haggens, (grocery store) neighboring parking lot! Oh my God! Did they see me? I duck into my car and speed towards the freeway.
As I accelerate onto I-5 North towards the Valley, I can see the black Honda race up behind me and pull out to the lane next to me. His car exhaust is loud and he swerves his car close to mine repeatedly. I cannot see well through the tint. It is so dark, but I can see it is a guy and he looks Mexican and is covered in tattoos. Oh God, who did I piss off? There are Ms-13 gang members in the area but would they be mixed up with Juggalos?

With the red Honda right on my bumper and the black Honda to my left, all I can do is accelerate. I punch the gas pedal and the black Honda punches his. I feel like I am racing like in the Fast and the Furious movies, only I am no Paul Walker! I pull out my journal and a pen and jot down the license plate numbers of both Honda’s. Suddenly the black Honda moves to the far left lane and the red Honda follows. Moments later the white Toyota speeds by me, I cannot make out its license plate number. I am doing 97 mph and they have all passed me. Where are they going?
I decide to pull off a country road exit and wait for a few minutes so that they can be long gone before I approach my desired location. I decide I will go to Isaac and Jenn’s house, (the house I lived in when all my shit got stolen). I have nowhere else to go! I light a cigarette and reflect back on the events of the night and this morning. I am terrified and tweaking so hard that I can’t tell reality from paranoia anymore.

As I accelerate back onto the freeway, I remain in the right lane and follow the speed limit the rest of the way to Mount Vernon. As I make my way past Dennys and Safeway grocery, I notice the black Honda switch lanes behind me! They waited for me. The red Honda is now in my rearview three cars back, as well. Oh my God! They are following me! I try to remain as calm as possible, obeying the speed limit within the city streets, However, once I pass the main businesses on the drag I floor it and scream towards Isaac’s house. His house is on a busy roundabout. There is a gas station and a turn off that leads up a gravel drive to an old firehouse on the same roundabout. I don’t want to bring trouble to Isaac and Jenn, so I pull up the gravel drive and hide my vehicle behind the old firehouse.

In order to see my car, you would have to pull into and around the building. I have concealed it well. I hear the exhaust and wonder how I am going to run through the roundabout, across the street, and into the house without being spotted. I have three vehicles chasing me! The black Honda circles a continuous loop around the roundabout, while the red Honda and white Toyota drive off and up different roads. Next to the old firehouse, there is a plot of land with a clearing. The front side facing the roundabout is fenced. The fence is surrounded by trees, shrubs and blackberry bushes. There is also a trail around another shed-like building that is completely hidden from the street view. It is still raining and the ground is thick with mud.

I watch the black Honda from the back of the old firehouse. It keeps circling the roundabout. It’s exhaust taunting me with every loop. The red Honda and white Toyota come back through the roundabout and back up the roads. They are searching for me and appear to be surprised my vehicle is not here at Isaac’s where they somehow knew I would go! Perhaps, it is because this is the last place I stayed at when the Juggalos were the circle I ran with or possibly by following me down this road they assume it because everyone knows this house! It’s a flop house. The black Honda suddenly races towards Sedro Wolley and I run across to the open plot of land quickly. My best chance is to go towards the fence and through the bushes. If I hop the fence I can run directly across the street and be at Isaac’s house. I can seek coverage in the bushes while still having a viewing point through the chain link on the roundabout. I will have to time it perfectly.

My WSU coat is crimson red and I decide I have to take it off, otherwise, it would be like waving a red flag. I remove it and reluctantly cram it into a bush. The rain is soaking me again. I am chilled to the bone. I didn’t have many clothing options at home so I am wearing Capri pants and a black tank top. I have lost so much weight from tweaking and dope that I am 103 pounds soaking wet and the wardrobe left at that house was all way too big.
I hear the Honda’s circling the roundabout and freeze when I hear the gravel beneath the tread. One of the vehicles has come up the gravel drive to the firehouse and turned off its engine.


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John 3:16

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Addiction Hotline: 800-815-6308



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