Narconon- Rehab Series- Part 49

Objective 6, Book 4b

After manifesting that monster blow, I have EP’d Objective 5. I am ecstatic to be done with walking around the table. However, Buster believes it is because I had a blow that we are moving onto Objective 6. He backs up his suspicion by reminding me that when I had my blow on Objective 2, I was Ep’d immediately as well.

“You should just manifest a blow on every Objective,” he declares.

I roll my eyes and take my seat next to him. For this Objective we are both seated next to each other facing the majority of the room. There are three commands. You are supposed to give the first command several times, the second command fewer than the first and the third command even fewer. I am happy that we are supposed to sit through this Objective. Walking aimlessly around a room with not much to point at or touch is boring. Walking around the table, was mind numbing.

“Why don’t you manifest a blow if you are so certain that it will get you the EP?” I ask.

“I’m not as good at it as you are,” he replies.

Again, I am annoyed by his inability to see that I did not fake either one of my blows. I sense that he will attempt to irritate me, in hopes of pushing me into full psycho mode again. Of course, first, it is my job to run him on the Objective. Justice and Misty have finally moved onto Objective 5. Justice and I are a lot alike. Buster and I make bets on the possibility of her flipping the table and manifesting her blow, before we begin our Objective.

“Look around here and tell me what you could have?” I command.

Buster eyeballs the room. “That chair,” he responds.

“Good,” I acknowledge. “Look around here and tell me what you could have?” I command.

“Well we know I can’t have you,” he laughs.

Why does he insist on this kind of douche bag behavior? Of course, he can’t have me. I wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole.

“Yes, we have established that. So why don’t you tell me what the fuck you could have?” I ask.

“I might be getting some pills,” he whispers.

Suddenly my hatred towards him levels into tolerance. Wow, I am capable of using people. It’s not a realization that will be documented on my paperwork, but I’ve realized it nonetheless.

“What? Really? When?” I ask, whispering back.

“I am supposed to get them in the mail today,” he continues. “Do you want a couple?”

“Hell yeah I do! What kind of pills?” I ask.

“Oxy 80s (Oxycontin),” he responds.

“Oh shit. How many are you going to get?” I inquire.

“At least 30,” he whispers.

“How many are you going to break me off, twinny, twin, twin?” I sing.

“I’ll definitely hook you up with at least 2. I promised Derek Lowry, Tarantula and Ryan I’d hook them up,” he confesses.

To this day, I don’t know whether or not Tarantula got his package and never broke me off the pills he alleged he would. That let down accompanied with my attempt at smoking a Lidocaine patch that turned out to do nothing, leaves me sincerely hoping this delivery comes through.

“Run your session,” Makayla calls out from across the room.

Kentucky is her partner today. In fact, Kentucky will be in this course room more often now. I think she is completely done with being a sauna I.C. and I am okay with that. Makayla appears to have more fun with Kentucky in the room. They are a good match.

“Look around her and tell me what you could have?” I command.

“That podium,” he replies.

“Good,” I acknowledge. “Look around her and tell me what you could have?”

“That poster,” he replies.

“Good,” I acknowledge.

“Look around here and tell me what you would permit to remain in place?” I command.

We both laugh. There is absolutely nothing in this room. The walls are bare. There is a clock and the poster with the Rules of Objectives. There are partitions, podiums, tables, chairs, a desk, a bookcase and a water cooler. None of these are things we would likely permit to remain in place. Or would we? What the hell does that even mean?

“Heroin Hound,” Buster replies.

“Good,” I acknowledge. “Heroin Hound is probably the only cool thing in this room!”

He sits on the bookcase when the sauna students aren’t practicing their assists on him during their hattings. Bolts and Brian walk by. I am not sure which Objective they are on, but I know they will be done soon. Bolts flirts with me a little before Makayla instructs him to stop enturbulating our session.

“Look around here and tell me with what you could dispense?” I command.

“What does that even mean?” He asks.

“Good question,” I laugh. “I think it means something you could live without. Or maybe it means something you could give out?”

“I guess I could dispense the water that comes from the water cooler,” he replies.

“Good,” I acknowledge.

“I am pretty sure I have no idea what on earth these commands even mean,” I admit.

“I am right there with you,” he concurs.

“Look around here and tell me what you could have?” I command.

“That bookcase,” he replies.

“Good,” I acknowledge. “Look around here and tell me what you could have?”

“That desk,” he replies.

“Good,” I acknowledge. “Look around here and tell me what you could have?”

“That window,” he replies.

“Good,” I acknowledge.

“Look around here and tell me what you would permit to remain in place?” I command.

“I have a cog,” he suggests. “I almost forgot that I was supposed to be cogging shit!”

“Me too,” I laugh.

“I realize that I get to choose who and what stays in my life,” he cogs.

“Good,” I acknowledge.

“Look around here and tell me what you would permit to remain in place?” I command.

“That podium,” he replies.

“Good,” I acknowledge.

“Look around here and tell me with what you could dispense?” I command.

“I have a cog,” he claims.

“Okay,” I acknowledge.

“I realize that I need to dispense of a lot of old friends that aren’t really my friends to begin with. Former drug buddies need to be dispensed,” he cogs.

“Good,” I acknowledge.

“This is fucking bullshit!” Justice exclaims, before pounding her fist on the table.

Buster and I both laugh, She isn’t manifesting a complete blow, but it is obvious she is upset with Objective 5. Misty is dropping it like it’s hot, as she walks around the table. Justice does not appear to be amused. It is apparent that Misty is attempting to entertain her crush Adam Moon. Makayla and Kentucky step outside for some reason and very quickly, the classroom becomes a zoo.

Noah has just run up the wall and smacked the ceiling with his hand. He looks like fucking Spider-Man! I have no idea how he climbs walls, but he can.

“Daddy, can we go to the strip club and make it rain on these hoes?” Bolts asks Brian with a child like voice.

The entire classroom erupts into laughter.

“You’re a damn fool,” Brian laughs.

“Daddy….Daddy,” Bolts continues with his little boy whine. “Daddy, why does mommy act like a whore?”

There really isn’t anything funny about these statements, but the way he asks them with this cartoon like voice causes me to giggle.

Coco is running Vinny too Skinny on his Objectives. He is almost done and he started after me. It is annoying. Of course, he has an intern running him. This means that he doesn’t have to run the intern, so it will take half the time as having a twin that you need to run. Coco is constantly on his ass to stay focused and quit goofing around.

“Quiet down and get in session! Come on guys! I shouldn’t have to baby sit. You are grown ups!” Makayla exclaims, as her and Kentucky make their way back into the room. Noah is flipping off the wall. Makayla makes her way over to him.

“Noah! What are you doing?” She asks.

Now, I am not certain about the terms that were set forth on their bet. However, I know he bet her that he could run up the wall and smack the ceiling and she agreed to allow him to try. Noah moves away from the wall. He braces himself and takes a full, running start. His first foot hits the wall, but when his second foot hits the wall (about halfway up the wall), his foot breaks through the sheet rock and leaves him hanging briefly in the plaster.

Makayla’s eyes widen. Her, big, white smile cannot be concealed. She attempts to hide it by lifting her hands over her face, but we all saw it.

“Oh my God! Noah!,” she exclaims.

“What in the gall darn fuck did you do,” Kentucky interrupts with her thick country accent. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Oh my God, Noah! Oh my God,” she repeats.

Buster and I laugh hysterically, as Noah removes himself from the wall. His shenanigans has captured the attention of the entire classroom. Noah laughs like a hyena. He doesn’t usually laugh like this, but every once in awhile, when you really get him going, he does. It’s a very high pitched, infectious laugh. His entire face lights up when you cause him to burst into this fit. It is difficult to maintain composure when you hear his laugh. It’s like those baby laughing videos that people share on Facebook that read,”I bet you can’t not laugh.”

Finally, it is time for our lunch break. We all load onto the van. Aiden is driving the van, so before we take off across the street, he has to mingle with Kentucky for a minute. They are adorable. He may be the Ethics officer, but she clearly wears the pants in the relationship. As we make our way to the center, Aiden’s eyes are locked on mine through the rear view mirror. He always does that. His face is expressionless, but he stares you down. Sometimes you can cause him to break his confront and smirk, but not today. Keisha says that he does that to her too.

I am one of the last people to make my way through the lunch line, as I had scheduled a phone time to call my mother. As I make my way into the kitchen, I notice a new student doing dishes. Apparently, she is a transfer from Colorado and is on an Ethics cycle. Everyone is giving her shit about it. Dominic teases her about the sexual endeavors that landed her the transfer.

“There you go Liz,” Dominic teases, while pointing at her. “She is just as sex crazed as you!”

We all laugh. “Well, I have made sexually inappropriate comments to all of the guys here already, maybe it’s time for me to make my way onto the girls,” I joke.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” she jokes back.

Her name is Tiffany. I think she is originally from Ohio. She has a thin figure, long blonde hair and a little rasp in her voice. The bottom of her jeans are frayed from walking on them and she is wearing a ball cap that indicates she may have similar Tom boyish traits. I like her already. I sit down at the back table by the coffee machine. I can see that Vinny too Skinny is sitting with both Coco and Chanel. He is filled with incessant chatter. I catch them rolling their eyes at each other from time to time. Vinny too Skinny is oblivious to it. Rome walks by the table and I notice an exchange in looks between him and Coco. What’s this? Another Narconon love blossoming under the ethics radar? I giggle and think to myself, “Damn, you go girl……..”

Today’s Theme Song- Lindsey Stirling- Crystallize

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**DISCLAIMER: This is my personal experience at a Narconon Rehabilitation Center. This is not an expose or journalistic documentation. It is not meant to bash the program in any way, or suggest that it is the only rehab facility that works for recovery. I have been clean and sober since 09-27-13 and attribute much of that success to this program. All of the names in this series have been changed to protect the identity of my friends and sober family’s privacy! Thank you for reading!**

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