A couple of days have gone by and Buster and I have drilled and he’s attested his TR1-TR4. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I am sad thinking about my family gathering for the holidays and my inability to be there with them. I haven’t watched any football since I have been here. I love football. The Seattle Seahawks are my home team and the team I was raised to root for. This year they are doing very well. However, most of the students here are from the east coast and watch different games. It’s just as well, watching football would make me even more homesick. Especially on Thanksgiving. I usually stay out of the lodge on Sundays to avoid that feeling.
Vinny has apologized to me and to make peace, I have accepted. We are no longer on a no comm. I have found more peace living at the ginger house than I ever expected to. Keisha and I share the two bed room with the 19in TV. It is nice. The other room has four beds and no TV. We watch Bridesmaids every night as we drift to sleep. Going to the ginger house after class, gives you a feeling of going home after the day. It is only a two minute drive up the road from the center.
There are several student houses. The ginger house is the only female house. The blue house is to the left of us. There is a fire station between the two homes. The big house is across the street from us. The barn is further down the road. That is also the location of the 24 hour withdrawal ranch. The top house is above the center, but it mostly houses staff and interns.
Another big plus to being in the houses is that we don’t report to morning muster and are not responsible for daily chores at the center. We have designated chores at the house, but they are done once a week or as needed. Each house has staff and interns in it to ensure that we are behaving. Our house mom is Tess Jetman. She’s cool. She pretty much hangs out in her room and leaves us be, provided we keep the house clean and are getting along.
Jo, Christina and Victoria are in the other bedroom. They are not far from being done with their programs. Keisha hangs out with them sometimes, but I usually chill in our room. I still haven’t warmed up to Jo or Victoria. Christina is cool. Unfortunately I have put on so much weight, I am now able to wear the jeans she gave me in the beginning of my program. She knew it would happen. It always does. The Narconon 30 (Gaining 30 pounds).
I truly despise Buster Lumplin. It is difficult being his twin. Initially, I welcomed him and showed him around the center. However, he has become nothing but a perverted mooch to me now. Every day he asks me for cigarettes and CLE’s. There is always an added sentiment about him putting some on his Walmart list to pay them back, but he never has so I have been forced to cut him off. Despite my repeated responses of no, he continues to ask daily. Originally he told me about his fiance and newborn baby girl with joy in his smile, but now he makes suggestive comments about hooking up. It disgusts me.
He has tried to justify his behavior and solicitations, as if it is not cheating because he believes that she is cheating on him. No matter how many times I have explained the flaws in his line of reasoning and poked holes in his logic, he doesn’t get it. Or, he chooses to appear ignorant. I don’t know how to say it without sounding like a pretentious snob, but my ability to tolerate stupid is declining with each day I am sober. I am an extremely intelligent person and am finding it more difficult to communicate with the dumb.
Today is like any other day. I find myself simply going through the motions. Lunch consists of shit talking and chain smoking. Class is drilling TRs. Dinner is phone time with my daughter, and a shit meal followed by chain smoking and shit talking. Finally, after dinner, I am corralled with the other house dwellers onto the vans and make my way home to the ginger house. Keisha and I hurry to our room for girl talk.
“Hey girl, I was watching your face today with Buster and you had me cracking up. What a complete douche bag,” Keisha says.
“Dude, I know. Fuck! He is such an idiot. He actually told me if him and I hooked up that it wouldn’t be cheating because he thinks his fiance is cheating. First off he doesn’t even know if she is cheating. Secondly, even if she was, him having sex with someone is still cheating. I can’t deal with stupid anymore,” I laugh.
“Right? What an idiot. Besides you wouldn’t have any interest in him anyways, would you?” She asks.
I growl at her. “What the fuck? Hell no. Oh my gawd girl you know I am in complete lust with Ryan Nicholas. He looked so cute today, didn’t he?”
“Well, you know he’s not my type, but yes he is a cutie,” she confirms.
“I can’t figure him out. One minute he is nice to me and talking with me like we are cool and then the next minute he is publicly humiliating me in front of the boys,” I say.
“I don’t know either. I am still crushing on Noah,” she admits.
“I know. I can’t believe how you guys get away with being a completely obvious 2D flow,” I admit. “Everyone knows you are into each other.”
Keisha blushes. “Shut up. You think?”
“Duh! It is so obvious. He likes you too girl. You have nothing to worry about. Meanwhile I have a crush on a twenty something goofball who sends me mixed messages,” I confess.
“How are you and Cody doing with objectives? It looks like you have been running the same one forever now,” I suggest.
“It feels like it. We can’t get passed this one. All he talks about is how he is in love with Kacie. It’s nice to have a twin who isn’t completely tech and insistent on just running the objective, but he doesn’t talk about anything else but her,” she explains.
“Really?” I ask.
“Yes. I am so serious right now. At first I felt bad for him. It appeared as though Kacie were leading him on. She knows he has feelings for her. He has admitted them to her. She continued to walk around the track with him and hang out with him on breaks. However, now, I have noticed that she has been hanging out in her room to avoid him,” she continues.
“Yeah. I have noticed that too. He asked me to go for a walk around the track with him too. He said he was really down and needed a friend, so naturally I agreed to walk. All he talked about was how much he loved Kacie. I was honest and told him to let it go, but he wouldn’t listen to anything I was saying. He dominated the conversation. He doesn’t want to hear the truth,” I insist.
“No. He doesn’t. She told him she had no interest and that they were just good friends. Sometimes he talks so much about her that I would rather run the fucking objective, Keisha laughs.
“Dude. That is bad,” I laugh.
We have spent several hours gossiping and discussing the students and program. I don’t gossip with anyone but Keisha. Hayden and I discuss some things, but Keisha has always been the person I vent to about the other students and the program. I completely trust her not to betray my trust and I am happy that she trusts me. Everyone needs that one person that they can say anything to. If I didn’t have someone to vent to, I would never make it through this program. With every new Book, it becomes stranger and stranger. Suddenly, I am finding myself speaking Narconese without attempting to.
“We are being programmed,” Keisha jokes. Only she’s not really joking.
“Don’t drink the Kool-aid,” I joke back. “What does your mom think about this place being Scientology?”
“She doesn’t care. She said she doesn’t care if I come out of this place believing in unicorns, as long as I stay clean and sober,” she answers. We both laugh.
“Wait, you mean unicorns aren’t real?” I ask in a joking manner. We both continue to giggle and exchange jokes.
“You know what we need?” She asks.
“Bridesmaids?” I respond.
“Yes! Bridesmaids and Oreos!” She exclaims, while pulling out a stash of cookies.
“Oh hell yeah! I’ll get the milk,” I suggest.
This has become a tradition for us. It’s my favorite part of the day. I know that even when we are done with our programs and return home, that we will remain good friends for life. Going through this program together, surviving the oddities, does something to you. We are like family. Narconon becomes your family. You make some of the best friends you will ever make in your entire life in this program. I really believe it’s because you survive it together. Even students who you are not close to in the program, will always understand and therefore, will be there for you later in life. There really is no way to convey through words, the relationships you begin to develop with your peers here.
After we devour almost an entire package of Oreos, Keisha suggest we smoke a cigarette.
“I am so lazy, but I need one,” I reply.
“Lets just open the window and smoke in our room,” she suggests.
“Ha! I knew there was a reason I loved you, and people say I am the bad influence! Lets do this,” I agree.
Keisha pushes the window open and we both light our smokes. We try our best to blow the smoke outside the window, but some wafts back in. I have a bottle of Febreeze to help mask the smell. We have a cabinet type nightstand between our beds. I open it and put the cup of water we are using for an ashtray, down below before closing the door. Our conversation becomes less and less, as we watch the movie. Keisha and I recite our favorite lines along with the movie, but eventually drift off to sleep….
Today’s Theme Song- I’ve Just Begun Having My Fun- Britney Spears
Sign up by email or follow me on Twitter, Reddit and Facebook for updates of continued posts in this series..
**If you are a former student of Narconon that didn’t go through the program with me, or a family member of one of my Narconon friends and have discovered this series though my friends sharing it on their pages and want to add me on my personal Facebook page so you don’t miss a post to the series, feel free! Shoot me a message, so I know who you are!**
**DISCLAIMER: This is my personal experience at a Narconon Rehabilitation Center. This is not an expose or journalistic documentation. It is not meant to bash the program in any way, or suggest that it is the only rehab facility that works for recovery. I have been clean and sober since 09-27-13 and attribute much of that success to this program. All of the names in this series have been changed to protect the identity of my friends and sober family’s privacy! Thank you for reading!**