Narconon- Rehab Series- Part 22

Sauna Day 1:

My first day of sauna is upon me and I am eager to get into the box. The first day, you are given a low dose of niacin and are only in the box for three hours, rather than the usual five. After our niacin is administered, we are supposed to run the track for 20 minutes. Most of the students walk. I’ve decided to run part of the way and then walk. I’ve never enjoyed jogging, but I am afraid of gaining weight in sauna.

Three hours, isn’t that bad. The worst part is that once I have completed it, I have to take vitamins, a cup of bird seed, a cup of oil and a tall glass of dreaded Cal-Mag. Linnea, is the sauna I.C. and won’t let me walk out of the sauna area, until she witnesses me drink it. Needless to say, I spend the rest of the day, pissing out of my asshole and watching movies in my room.

Sauna Day 2: 

Today, I have switched to PM sauna. This means, I have all morning to screw around. Many of my friends are EP’ing sauna (EP’ing= end phenomena and translates they are done with it). There are a few new students coming in and most of the Book 1 students are doing sauna hattings and will be in sauna tomorrow. I asked Bryce to get into PM sauna with me and he has agreed he will try.

There is an older gentlemen named Frank, that is already in sauna. I would guess he is in his mid forties. He is a little heavier set, but not obese. He has brown hair and is very interesting to talk to. He has worked in the music industry and is extremely passionate about the classics. I love older music too, so his stories are very intriguing. Who doesn’t love Motown?

Jan, the older lady, will also be in sauna with me today. She wears skimpy clothing and all of the boys are calling her a MILF. I think her and Frank should hook up. She is bossy as fuck, however, and the only thing I like about her, is that she doesn’t like Vinny too Skinny at all. Frank, is equally bothered by him.

Vinny is supposed to be in AM sauna, so I am adamant about being in PM. He talks, nonstop and I can’t imagine being stuck in a box with him for five hours. Dinner is at 6:00 p.m. I didn’t think about the fact, that doing PM sauna would conflict with my ability to call my daughter. Phone times get over at 7:00 and that happens to be when sauna gets out. I begin to get worked up, but Kentucky calms me down and informs me that we will get it figured out. Sadie Dell and Sally, will let me out of sauna 15 minutes early to accommodate making my phone call.

Sauna proves to be an ample time for reading. I have chosen a book called, Divergent. It is so good, I can’t put it down. Five hours, goes surprisingly fast because the story is so engrossing. Even after sauna, I am power reading through it.

When I went to that 30 day state rehab, I read all three Hunger Games books in three days. I can feel the same force grabbing me with this series.

Sauna Day 3:

Today is a shitty day. I have learned that Keisha is being forced to move to the Ginger house.

“I don’t want you to go,” I whimper.

“I know. It’s going to suck, but they won’t let me stay,” she says.

“Dude, Coco and Chanel got to stay because they are I.C.’s. I wish we could takeover, so that we didn’t have to move to the house,” I suggest.

“Yeah, but then we would have to be I.C.’s,” she laughs.

“True,” I pout.

Lunch is almost over and that means Keisha is heading to Objectives and I need to get ready for sauna.

“This isn’t fucking fair dude. I don’t like other bitches. I don’t want another roomie,” I complain.

“Meh,” Keisha whines. “You just need to hurry up and finish sauna!”

She’s right about that. I am only on day three, and already, I am so over it. It’s hot, obviously, and I swear I can actually feel myself packing on weight. I didn’t want to tell Keisha, but yesterday, after sauna, I couldn’t get my size zero jeans, up over my thighs and I collapsed on the closet floor and bawled my eyes out. I tried on my size two jeans, and they too, didn’t fit. I have no idea what size I am, but I know I have struggled with being chubby my entire life and I don’t want to go back to that feeling again.

Sauna is hot. Kentucky is the I.C. today.

“Get in to the box!” she exclaims, in her thick accent.

There are three folding chairs that are the most comfortable. They are on the ground, so it is the least hottest spot. Then there are two benches. The top bench is the hottest. We are supposed to drink two cups of water for each hour we are in the sauna. I was warned that drinking the water causes the weight gain. I can’t see how, but I am fearful, so I risk dehydration and skip my water.

Misty, the Beyonce loving New Yorker, and Justice, the loud Floridian, are both in sauna with me today. They are roommates and are becoming good friends. They’ve secured, two of the chairs and I am forced onto the benches. It is miserable hot. I decide to make the most of it and read Divergent. Justice is also, reading a book.

“Is that book good Liz?” She asks. “I’ve noticed you have not been able to put it down.”

“It is so good,” I answer. “What’s your book about?”

“It’s a vampire story,” she informs me.

“Is it anything like Twilight?” I ask. “I love Twilight.”

“It’s a little more dark, but it is good. If you like vampire novels, you will enjoy it,” she suggests.

We agree to swap books, once we have finished reading. Misty is bored and talking to Justice, but Justice wants to read.

“Liz. Oh buddy of mine. Since you are reading, can I listen to your iPod?” Misty asks.

“Of course,” I say. Truth is, I want her to be quiet too, so that I can read in peace.

I can feel myself getting emotional and I am not sure why. Is this a sauna turn on? I seriously feel as though I may begin to cry. I hop out of the box.

“What’s wrong Liz?” Kentucky asks.

“I don’t know. I am just hot. I am sad that Keisha is moving to the Ginger House and I don’t even know what bitch they are going to be sticking me with,” I say. “I don’t like bitches.”

Kentucky laughs, “I don’t like bitches either,” she says, emphasizing the word, “bitches” with her southern charm.

This causes me to laugh. She is such a firecracker. I immediately feel better. Whatever that weird emotion bubbling to the surface was, it has passed.

The best thing about sauna, is that we are the first students to eat at meal time. It sucks to go back into sauna after dinner. We are only in there for another half hour or so and I feel bloated. After sauna, I make my way back to my room. I finished Divergent, and I am eager to start the second book of the series, Insurgent.

When I arrive, Keisha’s things are gone. I am super sad. She, however, is in the room.

“Oh my gawd, no,” I say.

“I know. I have to go, but wanted to say goodbye,” she says.

We hug each other. That is love right there. I haven’t showered yet, and am covered in sauna funk. All of the students that live in houses are being shoved onto the van. This now includes Keisha and all of my spade boys. Suddenly, I feel alone.

After Keisha is gone, I shower, then, I break down and cry. I am overcome with deep feelings of sorrow, loneliness and maybe some hidden, abandonment issues have surfaced. I can’t seem to pull myself together. Without warning, my door slides open.

“Oh no. Liz what’s wrong?” Boston asks. She has my new roommate with her.

“I don’t know,” I cry. “I am just sad that they are making Keisha go to the Ginger House,” I weep.

This new student is being polite and standing in the doorway, as Boston wraps her arms around me.

“No offense, I don’t know you, but Keisha is my best friend here,” I continue to weep.

“It’s fine,” she responds.

It’s not fine. This poor girl is probably dying to get her ass into the room. She had to spend 24 hours at that dreadful withdrawal ranch. I apologize again and insist she come in.

She is one of the most beautiful girls, I have ever seen in real life. Her name is Hayden Prim. She has long hair that has chunks of red and blonde colors in it. She wears, bright red lipstick and resembles a pinup girl. A classy one, not some trashy Penthouse bitch. I’m talking like the old school, 1930’s pinups. Her teeth are white and she has a huge smile. She also has a Monroe piercing.

I can’t help but notice, that she appears to have packed all of her belongings. I laugh, as she strolls in with an overflowing hamper and her own garbage can.

“I’ve been Hayden’s WD Specialist. You will like her Liz. She is cool,” Boston informs me.

“I’m sorry Hayden. I really didn’t mean I was upset that you personally are moving in,”I reiterate.

“I understand,” she replies. “I completely get it. No offense taken.”

Hayden has art supplies, tons of clothes and cute little, decorative boxes. She even has a scarf she drapes over her dresser.

Boston sits with us for awhile, as Hayden unpacks a few of her belongings.

“Is it going to bother you if my shampoo and soaps are in the shower?” Hayden asks.

Oh man. I must have really made her feel not welcomed. I feel horrible.

“Not at all,” I respond. “But hey, not that you would or anything, but don’t use my razor. I have Hep. C and it can be transmitted that way,” I inform her.

“Wow. That’s really cool of you to tell me that. Thank you. Don’t worry I won’t,” she replies.

Boston has to go. She gives me one more bear hug before bouncing out of the room, with her bubbly self.

“What’s your DOC?” I ask.

“Heroin and meth,” she replies.

“Oh shit. We are two peas in a pod. I was using both, but heroin was my demon,” I admit.

“Where are you from?” I ask.

“I am from right here in California,” she confesses.

“Oh my gawd! A local. That is rare. I swear, almost everyone here is from the East Coast. There are a few Washingtonians, myself included,” I elaborate.

Hayden sits down on her bed and engages in conversation with me for a couple of hours. She is so beautiful, it is difficult not to stare. Our conversation ranges from the shit we were doing that landed us here, to her offering me to wear any of her clothing that I would like to. This offer came after I admitted crying about weight gain. She is very sweet.

Somehow, our conversation turns to God. She is a Christian like me. It feels so good to talk about God again.

“You know, when you know you hear him, but you still do what you want to do anyways?” I ask.

“Oh yes. All too well,” she replies.

“Sometimes I worry that God has turned his back on me. I mean, I know he hasn’t. I know he forgives, but I have completely abandoned him,” she admits.

“I feel, verbatim, the exact same way,” I confess. “But, you know that it’s not him turning his back on us, it’s completely the other way around!”

We laugh. It’s not a happy laugh. It’s a shared moment, or realization, of how fallen we are and how desperately we need to get back on the path. We end up talking until after lights out. I love this girl already. She has created a spark of hope in me, I haven’t felt in a long time. Suddenly, I don’t feel so alone. It’s a complete God thing. We both agree, God paired us up for a reason. For the first time in forever, I spend an undocumented amount of time, in a sincere prayer before falling asleep….

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